This Is Just What I Need, Not!

[Tuffers]

The Mrs has gone and got herself an allotment. The secretary has allowed her to have it free for the first year as it's a bit overgrown

Muggins here has been drafted in to help. What do I need to get it with just earth @daveyboy1 and @mrtaytay? I'm guessing a strimmer to start with. Any recommendations what tools to get chaps? Bear in mind that I hate gardening and want this over ASAP.

 

[Smurf]

Best pay someone to sort it out for you whilts you erect yer man shed to hide in /emoticons/biggrin.png

 

[SolarPanelCleaning]

Disaster! Plant some newts and have a preservation order declared.......

 

[Alien Human]

The Mrs has gone and got herself an allotment. The secretary has allowed her to have it free for the first year as it's a bit overgrown

Muggins here has been drafted in to help. What do I need to get it with just earth @daveyboy1 and @mrtaytay? I'm guessing a strimmer to start with. Any recommendations what tools to get chaps? Bear in mind that I hate gardening and want this over ASAP.

Get a goat.......I really really want a goat /emoticons/smile.png

 

[MrBump]

You want it done quickly? Well it's gotta be a stick of dynamite then /emoticons/biggrin.png I'd pull it all out, if the soils knitted with roots or compacted, then you'll want to turn the soil over and loosen it up before planting anything. And beer, lots of beer /emoticons/wink.png

 

[Tuffers]

Not many sensible answers thus far

 

[cheapncheerful]

lovely...dig dig and dig again...

and fling the lot..

I had a funny old custy yesterday...

he phoned and said...can you clean the windows as Im having some building work done....

seems funny to me to get em clean before but anyway..hes always in ..nice bloke ..he got me into werther's toffees..

car on the drive no sign of him so hey ho off I go with banana for the first time as he wasnt there....

left my note and when I came back he told me a tale...

apparently....SOME CHEEKY SOD of a window cleaner...cheshire windowcleaners or something like that, as I know your a member..I didnt catch fully what he said. had just turned up and cleaned them...

They were done by a trad guy with a big volvo piled high with ladders but I guess he has sold it on..

He said they had a big posh blue van and told him he had to sign up to direct debit...but...I have done them for years...

he is getting on but apparently ...he followed the van in his car to their next stop at an estate not far away and told them he didnt want their service..

and he told me they made a mess and didnt clean the sills like I do...

funny thing is these are really old jobs for me and as such may have been left behind on the price front and it was charged at £8.50p....management team has told me to abolish the 50p but it is hard when its been that for ages...and he is such a sweet old man.

anyway...because I was using banana I decided to do the one above the conny and as such...saw a chance..and put my note in at £9.

which guess what.....was the exact same price the poacher window cleaners were charging...told you competition was tight around here..

probs...them same window cleaners are on here and reading this...

yeh not so bothered..I USED to clean em all but I always hated that area....

but I am still going to keep around in there just to see what happens in the future..

I still do a few as they pay online but ...your officially cheeky buggers..

I lost most for some reason I know not one by one ....but it could just be they dont like the cheapie way of working..

as in coming when he pleases and generally trying to dodge em....

ya can bet your life they wont do pussycat in the corner...even cheapie wont venture there...through the chickens and many gates to be watched by her and 12 cats...

but....back to the tuffers post...so I said to him as I collected my money I believe your having some building work done..

so he said oh yes and dragged me through the house and pointed to the soil by the wall....

he was having a gardener do what tuffers has to do...and a very good job he had done but...not so sure how it effects me cleaning the windows but...money in my pocket who cares..on to the next one../emoticons/biggrin.png

if you must know...I ended up doing that much digging last year....and the bloomin customer had come back when she was supposed to be out and made me dig for...a solid four hours...think it was only a tenner an hour as well...

I just chopped off most of the green and binned it and then deep dug and flipped it over job done...

I didnt get back ache at all....

er...and I havent contacted her since..

GOOD LUCK and keep us informed:rofl:

 

[Alien Human]

Not many sensible answers thus far

AstroTurf?

 

[boarcity]

cover it over with tarps thatll kill it all

 

[SolarPanelCleaning]

Putting green?

 

[Tuffers]

Concrete it all and make a crazy golf putting area for all the old fogeys. Charge em £2 a pop and get them to put the dosh in the honesty box. I'm onto a winner here :rofl:

 

[Alien Human]

This post has got me thinking as well. Know some of us are messing around with answers but how cool would it be to have your own little mini golf course, having a few beers & then going to sleep in the tarp......with a goat .......and leftover sticks of dynamite.

 

[Dave B]

Assuming there's no bindweed or twitch in there just dig a spade full turn it upside down on the ground and whack with a shovel to get the majority of the soil off and pile up the leftovers in one corner

Once left with a nice weed free plot leave the pile for a couple of weeks then using a fork put it all in a bin or compost pile

That way the weather would have taken the remaining soil away leaving just dead vegetation

I pile mine up in a corner every winter and it composts itself by spring ready to dig in the plot

Strimmer would help

If you have bindweed everywhere it ALL needs digging out as the smallest bit will regrow and weedkiller don't touch it

My first full size plot was covered in it so i sieved the whole plot through a shopping trolley..nightmare

 

[SolarPanelCleaning]

Concrete it all and make a crazy golf putting area for all the old fogeys. Charge em £2 a pop and get them to put the dosh in the honesty box. I'm onto a winner here :rofl:

This post has got me thinking as well. Know some of us are messing around with answers but how cool would it be to have your own little mini golf course, having a few beers & then going to sleep in the tarp......with a goat .......and leftover sticks of dynamite.

Safe.

 

[High-tower]

Good luck with your plot! I would really love one, but the waiting lists for a plot to become vacant around here mean if I'm lucky I'll get one ready for my retirement, just the 40+ years then...lol...

 

[Dave B]

You can have mine

26 quid a year per plot of which i have 2

May be a bit of a drive to water your veg though

I have until monday before it is not mine anymore

 

[Rahul]

Strimmer then take out any roots. Glyphosate for any weeds that turn up and you've got a clean start!

 

[Tuffers]

Good luck with your plot! I would really love one, but the waiting lists for a plot to become vacant around here mean if I'm lucky I'll get one ready for my retirement, just the 40+ years then...lol...

Cheers mate. Actually, when the Mrs took me to see it tonight I thought that it might be quite fun. Her plot will cost £60 a year, but the first year will be free as it's overgrown. You have to lock the gates behind you when you go through them.

Mrs T has suggested a spot of Tuffering if no one else is tending to their plots

 

[Dave B]

Watch you don't get glyphosate (weed killer) on little tuffers..it might shrivel up

I personally don't use weedkiller as i have always done it organically as the snobs call their veg

Any annual weeds that pop up get dug back in

Onky nettles and dandelions etc don't as they will just regrow

It's a bit late in the year for starting a plot but once ready it is easy to keep it that way over the cold months and autumn/winter is fruit planting time

 

[cheapncheerful]

or....you could just invite all your window cleaning buddies off here for a beer and barby but they must bring a spade..../emoticons/biggrin.png

:balloondance:

strim it down and hire a small rotavator is probs the easiest...

 

[Smurf]

poly tunnels springs to mind mannnn..............

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