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Stress ...a warning

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Danfire

Well-known member
Messages
700
Location
Petersfield
I must be the last person on earth that I thought would be affected by stress. In my previous jobs I have worked as a Carpenter on price work, employed by all manner of diabolical contractors trying to shaft me out of money, I've been a Submariner in the Royal Navy, the part 3 training required me to memorise the operation and function of thousands of valves, pipes, tanks etc, failure to pass would have seen me kicked back to surface ships.

Until recently I have managed to get along just fine and had never experienced any psychological reactions to any work pressure and I believed I was unbreakable.

For the last two years, in addition to my jobs as a Wholetime/Retained Firefighter I was given a window cleaning round that I have loved doing. Since starting, the round has grown and grown and is at least double its original size.

The most bizarre thing happened to me a few weeks ago, in the middle of a day's cleaning I got the feeling that my cleaning was accelerating to warp speed, I've always been very fussy and methodical with my cleaning but here I was believing I was cleaning like a Ninja, at least 25% faster than normal, great I thought, I'm going to make so much more money. I told the blokes when I got in for a night shift, no one suggested I was cracking up, all seemed well and I spent the next few days cleaning during days and then nights on station.

My weekend was spent looking after our children as my wife was away for a break, our youngest child has Autism so we often holiday separately as childcare is difficult to arrange. I spent the weekend still on a high, thinking I could achieve all tasks simultaneously and spent time hoovering the house top to bottom, mowing the lawns, sorting laundry, taking kids to cinema, car show etc.

Monday morning I was woken 7.30 to take my boy to school, I felt exhausted like I could have slept all day and I'm normally awake fresh at 6, I had been on a call out just after midnight but that is pretty normal. In the afternoon I planted an Apple tree in the front garden and that's when it started, the hands started trembling, the vision blurred, legs turned to jelly and everything started to spin around me. I managed to get myself indoors and sat down and things started to return to normal. On Tuesday I went to do a first clean and a gutter clean, I should have suspected all was not well when I put the stand off on back to front. I got the gutters and upstairs windows done but when I tried to put my ladder back together after using one section I just fumbled with it like I had never seen a ladder before in my life, I was just flapping like an idiot trying to get the thing back together and the spinning started again, I was in **** street. I calmed myself, told the customer I was sick and would have to leave it and packed up. I don't know how I managed to drive myself home, the horizon was all over the place and I felt like I was in a dream state.

The next few days were horrendous, I couldn't eat anything, all food made me want to vomit, I kept feeling like I was going to **** myself, more blurred vision/shakes and a feeling that this was never going to end and I was finished, a dead man walking as I got thinner and weaker over the days. I eventually got to the GP who made me explain what had happened, as I heard myself talking out loud about my activities I was able to understand how I got myself into the situation I was in. I came out feeling starving and threw a McDonald's straight down and felt hungry for the first time in days. I was signed off for quite a while and as advised, have slept like I've never slept in my life. I've had a few set backs but now I'm feeling almost back to normal. I'm really looking forward to getting back to work and I have a plan to massively reduce my commitments and increase leisure opportunities.

I've written this as a bit of therapy for myself and as a guide for others to look out for the warning signs. If it can happen to me, it can happen to anybody.

 
I think most of us have been down that road as is easily done.

Thanks for sharing as is heads-up for ppl that haven’t yet.:thumbsup:

Whilst reading your post my mate frank has just flooded me van again /emoticons/biggrin.png

 
I hope you keep improving, I know what it's like, having been thorough similar due to family issues,

Hope you get back to normal and make sure you keep time for family and chilling out

 
hi danfire ...I wanted to put winner but it didnt feel right...

its great to share your problems as it does help others when they read them..

my one and only illness has and always will be stress...

it started at school but not so bad these days as I have a great life work balance...or as some would say....Im a lazy barsteward..

It is still there when I have to do this that and the other....but when I get to friday...I zone out...

not so easy when you have kids I know but mine are all old enough now..

great post though as its a very hidden danger that we all face..

good luck with your future and dont forget....you need you time...plenty of it...everything in balance../emoticons/biggrin.png

 
know were you come from, been fighting with stress and depression for over a year now, but gets better.

I dont know if you go to s psycoligist, but i can say it really worth the money, been at one for 6 months now really help when the days just seem so dark in my mind.

Good to hear you are getting better and wish you all the best :)

 
I think I've just had my melt down for this year.

I feel so much better getting that off my chest /emoticons/biggrin.png

 
Stress is stressful.

Take a few days off and go away from it all. I like to wander round ruined castles and stuff. Make you think about something else. Come back super fresh!

 
Hi well done for sharing your story with us danfire, really feel for you, I always feel like you are hanging on an edge at times, worrying that you dont get home at a decent time to see the kids, being too tired to spend time with them, cause I've to fill barrels up, hang up cloths sort out money, its never ending working for yourself, still trying to get a better work balance, so I dont get overwhelmed.

Had read this the other day and thought it was balanced advice, as work can be time consuming,

http://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/g201507/good-work-ethic-bible-verses/

Take care

 
Thanks for the replies. This is what makes this such a great site, I'm on forums for the MX5, Facebook and a firefighter forum but nowhere do you get the advice and understanding that gets shown on here.

By the time I get back on the glass it will have been a month with no cleaning. I've got another ten days of rest and I feel raring to go but I'm going to make myself take all the rest time prescribed. Been watching a lot of old movies (never realised what a great actor Jack Lemmon was), listening to a lot of classical music and walks in the countryside.

I've used someone in the past to help me when I've got behind and I will use him all the time so I will effectively half the round. There are a few odd houses to cull to make the round more compact and with those changes I'm going to have more time to relax and do stuff I enjoy.

Thanks again for the responses, sharing has helped.

 
glad to hear your not rushing back as that can be the big mistake...you think your ready but your not quite there....so take your time.../emoticons/biggrin.png

I have found reading the posts from others on here greatly helps me get through the day..

even now ..quoting windowsurfer...

cause I've to fill barrels up, hang up cloths sort out money, its never ending working for yourself, still trying to get a better workbalance, so I dont get overwhelmed.

that is soooooo me when I get in the door...a long long list of things to do before I can hit my chair..

and its nice to hear others say they have to go through the same things every day../emoticons/biggrin.png

 

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