Screenplay for the upcoming movie "A few good Window Cleaners" [Warning: See "A Few Good Men" first ....] INTERIOR: Health and Safety Executive Hearing Room. DOJ Attorney (Cruise) standing in well of courtroom, Window cleaner Vito61 (Nicholson) is seated in the witness box. DOJ Attorney approaches witness box... Tom Cruise: "Did you order the window cleaning?" Jack Nicholson: "You want answers?" Tom Cruise: "I think I'm en***led." Jack Nicholson: "You want answers!" Tom Cruise: "I want the truth!" Jack Nicholson: "You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has dirty windows. And those dirty windows have to be cleaned by men with brushes on poles. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Health and safety excecutive? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for ladders and you curse pure water. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that ladders death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that pole. You need me on that pole! We use words like reverse-osmosis, pump controller, hose reel. . . We use these words as the backbone to a life spent cleaning something. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very assurance I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it. I'd prefer you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a squeegee and work on a window. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're en***led to!!" Tom Cruise: "Did you order the window cleaning?" Jack Nicholson: "You're damn right I did!" FADE TO BLACK.