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steve garwood

im falling apart!!

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steve garwood

Well, they say things come in three's.

1. My son spreads his plague onto me at the beginning of the week. Not your ordinary cold this. Headaches, a nose like niagra falls and a really, really tickly throat that wakes me up constantly so feel like the walking dead.

 

2. Whilst eating my dinner Tuesday, a massive, boulder sized filling pops out and exposes nerve endings. Even breathing through the mouth gave me a brain freeze that made me want to faint. Had it filled yesterday. Seems better but the dentist said I might have a cracked root, so may need root canal surgery :rolleyes:

 

3. Took a dump this morning and it felt like someone was pinching my insides. Turned around to a scene from the Texas chainsaw massacre!! Claret all over the bog!! Been to the quacks today to be examined internally by a doctor, who I reckon, holds the world record for the biggest fingers. Turns out I've got the old farmer jiles. Been given a cream with a tube that inserts up the old chocolate starfish.

Hope you guys are having a better week than me.

I've written this week off and gonna do nothing but sit in my conservatory tomorrow and watch the alien quadrilogy :)

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Adams0211

That got progressively worse the more I read :eek:

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The window cleaning kid

I've had piles before but nothing as bad as that :eek: any way my mates labourer got them, now his only 19 and was off for three weeks having to use suppositorys,when asked what's he been up to he turned a funny shade of red lol.

Strange as his girlfriend is gorgeous.

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Dave B

Well you are ginger so obviously defective :rofl:

I wouldn't want to be pushing anything up me rusty sherrifs badge so good luck with that

 

Alien quadrilogy is great..i have it and the predator series (all 3) and the alien vs predator films

Although quadrilogy is a made up word that doesn't actually exist..just made up by film guys as they didn't know what would follow trilogy

The real word would be tetralogy

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adamangler

It's an odd coincidence that I've had number 2 an 3 this past week.

 

Had wisdom tooth removed last week

And I had horrendous arse pain when taking a dump for about a week. Small amount of blood and Felt like someone was shoving a knife up my ring everytime I dropped my guts. Whatever it was eventually went away

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laddergarder

Well that just put anything I may have had to grumble about into perspective. I hope things go a bit better next week for you.

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steve garwood
Well that just put anything I may have had to grumble about into perspective. I hope things go a bit better next week for you.

Cheers. Nice to raise classy subjects on the forum

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Markyboy 50

Steve, when u say you're gonna sit in your conservatory, wouldn't it be less painful to stand?

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PJ Bullard

'Chocolate Starfish' - brilliant..and disgusting at the same time

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PJ Bullard

'Chocolate Starfish' - brilliant..and disgusting at the same time

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Cottonlung
Well, they say things come in three's.

1. My son spreads his plague onto me at the beginning of the week. Not your ordinary cold this. Headaches, a nose like niagra falls and a really, really tickly throat that wakes me up constantly so feel like the walking dead.

 

2. Whilst eating my dinner Tuesday, a massive, boulder sized filling pops out and exposes nerve endings. Even breathing through the mouth gave me a brain freeze that made me want to faint. Had it filled yesterday. Seems better but the dentist said I might have a cracked root, so may need root canal surgery :rolleyes:

 

3. Took a dump this morning and it felt like someone was pinching my insides. Turned around to a scene from the Texas chainsaw massacre!! Claret all over the bog!! Been to the quacks today to be examined internally by a doctor, who I reckon, holds the world record for the biggest fingers. Turns out I've got the old farmer jiles. Been given a cream with a tube that inserts up the old chocolate starfish.

Hope you guys are having a better week than me.

I've written this week off and gonna do nothing but sit in my conservatory tomorrow and watch the alien quadrilogy :)

That's a bad week I'd say.. Although I had a mate that tried to remedy the ole asteroids by using tea leaves round his rusty bullet hole.. He went to to doctor after no success and the Asian doc said " oh dear , I can't do anything for your piles, but your going on a long journey"

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