Danfire
Well-known member
- Messages
- 700
- Location
- Petersfield
I must be the last person on earth that I thought would be affected by stress. In my previous jobs I have worked as a Carpenter on price work, employed by all manner of diabolical contractors trying to shaft me out of money, I've been a Submariner in the Royal Navy, the part 3 training required me to memorise the operation and function of thousands of valves, pipes, tanks etc, failure to pass would have seen me kicked back to surface ships.
Until recently I have managed to get along just fine and had never experienced any psychological reactions to any work pressure and I believed I was unbreakable.
For the last two years, in addition to my jobs as a Wholetime/Retained Firefighter I was given a window cleaning round that I have loved doing. Since starting, the round has grown and grown and is at least double its original size.
The most bizarre thing happened to me a few weeks ago, in the middle of a day's cleaning I got the feeling that my cleaning was accelerating to warp speed, I've always been very fussy and methodical with my cleaning but here I was believing I was cleaning like a Ninja, at least 25% faster than normal, great I thought, I'm going to make so much more money. I told the blokes when I got in for a night shift, no one suggested I was cracking up, all seemed well and I spent the next few days cleaning during days and then nights on station.
My weekend was spent looking after our children as my wife was away for a break, our youngest child has Autism so we often holiday separately as childcare is difficult to arrange. I spent the weekend still on a high, thinking I could achieve all tasks simultaneously and spent time hoovering the house top to bottom, mowing the lawns, sorting laundry, taking kids to cinema, car show etc.
Monday morning I was woken 7.30 to take my boy to school, I felt exhausted like I could have slept all day and I'm normally awake fresh at 6, I had been on a call out just after midnight but that is pretty normal. In the afternoon I planted an Apple tree in the front garden and that's when it started, the hands started trembling, the vision blurred, legs turned to jelly and everything started to spin around me. I managed to get myself indoors and sat down and things started to return to normal. On Tuesday I went to do a first clean and a gutter clean, I should have suspected all was not well when I put the stand off on back to front. I got the gutters and upstairs windows done but when I tried to put my ladder back together after using one section I just fumbled with it like I had never seen a ladder before in my life, I was just flapping like an idiot trying to get the thing back together and the spinning started again, I was in **** street. I calmed myself, told the customer I was sick and would have to leave it and packed up. I don't know how I managed to drive myself home, the horizon was all over the place and I felt like I was in a dream state.
The next few days were horrendous, I couldn't eat anything, all food made me want to vomit, I kept feeling like I was going to **** myself, more blurred vision/shakes and a feeling that this was never going to end and I was finished, a dead man walking as I got thinner and weaker over the days. I eventually got to the GP who made me explain what had happened, as I heard myself talking out loud about my activities I was able to understand how I got myself into the situation I was in. I came out feeling starving and threw a McDonald's straight down and felt hungry for the first time in days. I was signed off for quite a while and as advised, have slept like I've never slept in my life. I've had a few set backs but now I'm feeling almost back to normal. I'm really looking forward to getting back to work and I have a plan to massively reduce my commitments and increase leisure opportunities.
I've written this as a bit of therapy for myself and as a guide for others to look out for the warning signs. If it can happen to me, it can happen to anybody.
Until recently I have managed to get along just fine and had never experienced any psychological reactions to any work pressure and I believed I was unbreakable.
For the last two years, in addition to my jobs as a Wholetime/Retained Firefighter I was given a window cleaning round that I have loved doing. Since starting, the round has grown and grown and is at least double its original size.
The most bizarre thing happened to me a few weeks ago, in the middle of a day's cleaning I got the feeling that my cleaning was accelerating to warp speed, I've always been very fussy and methodical with my cleaning but here I was believing I was cleaning like a Ninja, at least 25% faster than normal, great I thought, I'm going to make so much more money. I told the blokes when I got in for a night shift, no one suggested I was cracking up, all seemed well and I spent the next few days cleaning during days and then nights on station.
My weekend was spent looking after our children as my wife was away for a break, our youngest child has Autism so we often holiday separately as childcare is difficult to arrange. I spent the weekend still on a high, thinking I could achieve all tasks simultaneously and spent time hoovering the house top to bottom, mowing the lawns, sorting laundry, taking kids to cinema, car show etc.
Monday morning I was woken 7.30 to take my boy to school, I felt exhausted like I could have slept all day and I'm normally awake fresh at 6, I had been on a call out just after midnight but that is pretty normal. In the afternoon I planted an Apple tree in the front garden and that's when it started, the hands started trembling, the vision blurred, legs turned to jelly and everything started to spin around me. I managed to get myself indoors and sat down and things started to return to normal. On Tuesday I went to do a first clean and a gutter clean, I should have suspected all was not well when I put the stand off on back to front. I got the gutters and upstairs windows done but when I tried to put my ladder back together after using one section I just fumbled with it like I had never seen a ladder before in my life, I was just flapping like an idiot trying to get the thing back together and the spinning started again, I was in **** street. I calmed myself, told the customer I was sick and would have to leave it and packed up. I don't know how I managed to drive myself home, the horizon was all over the place and I felt like I was in a dream state.
The next few days were horrendous, I couldn't eat anything, all food made me want to vomit, I kept feeling like I was going to **** myself, more blurred vision/shakes and a feeling that this was never going to end and I was finished, a dead man walking as I got thinner and weaker over the days. I eventually got to the GP who made me explain what had happened, as I heard myself talking out loud about my activities I was able to understand how I got myself into the situation I was in. I came out feeling starving and threw a McDonald's straight down and felt hungry for the first time in days. I was signed off for quite a while and as advised, have slept like I've never slept in my life. I've had a few set backs but now I'm feeling almost back to normal. I'm really looking forward to getting back to work and I have a plan to massively reduce my commitments and increase leisure opportunities.
I've written this as a bit of therapy for myself and as a guide for others to look out for the warning signs. If it can happen to me, it can happen to anybody.
