Just for a Larf...

[Green Pro Clean Ltd]

I'm great at multitasking at work. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

 

[Green Pro Clean Ltd]

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

 

[Green Pro Clean Ltd]

Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.

 

[Dave B]

I farted in a crowded lift the other day..

It was wrong on so many levels

 

[Bingo]

I've just bought the Mrs some crotchless knickers for Halloween.

Nothing sexual, it's just to give her a better grip while on her broomstick.

 

[Bingo]

Had a visit from the police.

The Police came round last night and said that my dog had been chasing someone on a bike.

I told them......'It can't be my dog, he doesn't have a bike!!!'

 

[lou]

L MMLMLK L ma

Sent from my GT-S6810P using Window Cleaning Forums

 

[armagh27]

Man walks into a pub with a giraffe and they get hammered giraffe falls flat on its head out cold man walks of barman say hey you can't leave that lyin there man turns round and says it's not a lion it's a giraffe

 

[Bingo]

I've just put all of my Dogging Equipment on E-Bay .......There's been no bids yet but there's 12 people watching.

 

[till]

My wife pleasured several men when she went dogging the other night.

They all stood there with big smiles on their faces. .

While she spent ages trying to park the car.

Sent from my GT-I9195 using Tapatalk

 

[steve garwood]

I asked the girl in the ice cream shop what flavour ice creams have you got? She answered in an extremely croaky voice, chocolate and vanilla. I said, blimey, have you got laryngitis? She said no, just chocolate and vanilla

 

[Bingo]

An ice cream van just drove past advertising 'Any Flavour You Can Think Of'.

Soooo, I asked for a 'Minge-Flavoured' ice cream cornet.

After the first lick, I said to the ice cream man......"This tastes like sh!t"!

He said...."Take shorter licks".

 

[till]

A man on his death bed in hospital. Asked for his wife three sons and his nurse to be present to here his last wishes.

To my first son I leave the two blocks of flats in the east end of London.

To my second son l leave the four penthouse apartment's in Chelsea.

And to my third son the four story glass building near tower bridge.

With that he slipped away. The nurse said to his wife "I did not realise your husband was so welthy you and your son's are very lucky ". He wasn't replied his wife. He was a window cleaner

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[Bingo]

Paddy goes into Wetherspoons and asks ''How much is the lager''.

Barman says...''£2.00 a pint and £7.00 for a pitcher''.

Paddy says.....''I'll just have a pint....f**k the photo''.

 

[Markyboy 50]

What's green, got 6 legs and if it fell out of a tree and landed on you it would probably kill you?

A snooker table