Aches, Pains & Cabin Fever

Discussion in 'Chit Chat & Introductions' started by Smurf, Apr 28, 2015.

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  1. Smurf

    Smurf Banned
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    I've had a few days off since my litlle manhole incident as knackerd me back and legs so thought best to rest them for a while. Anyhow I'm already to get back out there tommorow I thought until the back of my right knee popped as I walked back from the van getting it all ready. I'm now hobbling around again like long john silver...

    Still being indoors is driving me nuts as cabin fever seems to be setting in so I will just have to take pain killers and do a bit of stick waggling tommorow instead . Arrr matey!

    A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
    "What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
    The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
    "Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
    "Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
    "Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
    "Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
    "Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
    "So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird ****!"
    "Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."

     
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  2. Tuffers

    Tuffers Hero
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    Groan :rolleyes:
     
  3. johnny bravo

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    that was long, but here we go HHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    HHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHH:rofl::whistle::whistle::whistle::whistle:HHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
     
  4. johnny bravo

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    :laugh::p:p:p:p:p:p:laugh::laugh:More More, you can have a page on here smurf with all jokes etc. may make light reading,
    come on all lets hear them.
    give us a laugh

    why did the chicken cross the road,




    to get to the other side
    :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
     
  5. Posh

    Posh Hero
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    2 men walked into a bar
    You'd have thought the 2nd one would have seen it.
     
  6. Smurf

    Smurf Banned
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    "I might become a window cleaner," my wife said hilariously. "I've just found a ladder in my tights!"

    "You should, dear," I replied. "You've already got a bucket in your knickers."
     
  7. daveyboy

    daveyboy Legend
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    7 dwarfes in a bath feeling happy

    Happy got out

    Then they were feeling grumpy
     
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