Had a curry last night with the missus. I chose a dopiaza, which turned up with tons of onions which always give me bad wind Working today I was coming down my ladder from a flat roof and my guts were proper rumbling and I knew I had to get rid of this wind. Looked over both shoulder's, all clear. So with a hefty push I let rip with a bafta winning fart. No joke, it went on for about 10 - 12 seconds and was so loud I thought it would shatter the windows. Anyway, just as this fart finished, a voice said 'fcuk me that was loud', and I turned around, and right behind me, in what must of been a blind spot, stood my customer. My face went as red as my hair and all I could do was explain my dodgy guts. He just said take this money before the stink comes!!