To: all Employees. Re: Additional training for all staff... A...It`s now and always been, the Policy of this Company to ensure that its employees are well trained. Through our SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING programme, (S.H.I.T. for short ) we have given our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other company in the area. If any employee feels that he or she does not receive enough S.H.I.T on the job, or that he or she could advance to another position by taking more S.H.I.T, please see your immediate supervisor. B...If you graduate to the top of your list by taking all the S.H.I.T that is given to you, you can then qualify for our Supervisors programme,... COMPLETE RESPONSIBILITY ACTION PROGRAMME (or C.R.A.P for short ). So, to become a member of our management team, simply take all the S.H.I.T you can and then with the additional C.R.A.P you receive, you will soon reach the top. Any employee who has the initiative and drive to take both S.H.I.T and C.R.A.P will soon become one of the elite. C...For a limited period only, the Company is offering all employees the chance to try our latest scheme,....... ADVANCED SUPERVISORY STAFF HELPING OUR LOCAL EMPLOYEES (or A.S.S.H.O.L.E for short). So!!!!!! Work hard, and you will find that the more S.H.I.T you take and more C.R.A.P you can hanle, will qualify you as an A.S.S.H.O.L.E for sure. :lol: :lol: .