Gmeister
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A lot of men don't grasp the importance of conversation in a relationship. You should never stop talking.Because the moment you do, she starts.
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Gmeister
Well-known member
- Messages
- 2,314
Dunno if i posted this or this one has been posted??
Because of Spains current financial situation, they had to downgrade tenerife to fiverife
Because of Spains current financial situation, they had to downgrade tenerife to fiverife
harunh
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The husband came home and seen his wife watching ready steady cook and he said to her why are u watching this for ? u cant cook !
She said so what u watch porn
lol
She said so what u watch porn
lol
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.....
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
'Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.....
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
'Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.
some nice books:
Wet toilet seat by I.P. Wonkie
Russian football by I.K. Kabollokov
The russian S&M scene bu Janka Titzzoff
Chinese Golf by Ho Lin Wan
The prostitutes of Old Moscow by Geronja Bakjabitzch
Can smoking cause cancer? by Lydia Fahgpachett
Fashion by Esme Soksagin
poor Aim by P. Sonderflohr
Wet toilet seat by I.P. Wonkie
Russian football by I.K. Kabollokov
The russian S&M scene bu Janka Titzzoff
Chinese Golf by Ho Lin Wan
The prostitutes of Old Moscow by Geronja Bakjabitzch
Can smoking cause cancer? by Lydia Fahgpachett
Fashion by Esme Soksagin
poor Aim by P. Sonderflohr
50 shades of Chav.
"As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day..our tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight."
"It was Dwayne's birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle. I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time."
"Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he lay on top of me making love. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange. As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling out Braille for I love you"
"As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind the Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the ally way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same."
"My mum had told me to leave Dwayne many times due to the violence but I knew he loved me as he always took his rings off before he hit me. Tonight though he was in a foul mood, I had f****d his tea up after failing to de-frost his prawn ring I had nicked from farm foods. He picked up the power lead from my kids mega drive and whipped it across my doughy ****. It stung but I liked it. I shouted again again so he carried on. I thought my shell suit would rip into a million pieces. As I looked over my shoulder I saw his Weetabix toothed smile. He even had a semi on which was rare as the crack normally played havoc with his erections...
"As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day..our tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight."
"It was Dwayne's birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle. I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time."
"Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he lay on top of me making love. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange. As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling out Braille for I love you"
"As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind the Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the ally way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same."
"My mum had told me to leave Dwayne many times due to the violence but I knew he loved me as he always took his rings off before he hit me. Tonight though he was in a foul mood, I had f****d his tea up after failing to de-frost his prawn ring I had nicked from farm foods. He picked up the power lead from my kids mega drive and whipped it across my doughy ****. It stung but I liked it. I shouted again again so he carried on. I thought my shell suit would rip into a million pieces. As I looked over my shoulder I saw his Weetabix toothed smile. He even had a semi on which was rare as the crack normally played havoc with his erections...
I was chatting to a bird in a club.She whispered, "Do you fancy coming back to mine, I've got a thingy the size a Polo."I said, "Oh yes."When we got back to her place I pulled down her knickers and gasped.She said, "Surprised?"I said, "Totally,
I thought you meant the mint not the bloody hatchback.. !!
I thought you meant the mint not the bloody hatchback.. !!
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