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Little joke to start the day

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Paddy was on his death bed and knew the end was near.

His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons are with him at his home in Belfast .

He asks for 2 independent witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes.


When all is ready he begins to speak:

"My son Seamus, I want you to take the houses in Cultra."

"My daughter Geraldine , you take the apartments over in Malone Road."

"My son Patrick Junior, I want you to take the offices in the City centre."

"Bridget, my dear wife, please take all the residential properties on the Upper Lisburn Road ."


The nurse and witnesses are blown away. They did not realize the extent of Paddy's wealth. As he slips away, the nurse says to his wife, "Mrs. O'Shaughnessy, my deepest condolences. Your husband must have been such a hard-working and wonderful man to have accumulated all this property"..


"Property?”, his wife replies. “The ****** had a window cleaning round." [emoji12][emoji12]



Sent from my iPhone using Window Cleaning Forums

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Heard another one yesterday.


There were this old guys in a retirement home. One of them was poor, the other one was wealthy (old window cleaner perhaps?). The wealthy one bought new cars all the time.


One day the poor asks his rich buddy: "so, what car did you buy today?"

"I bought a brand new beautiful Toyota".

"Nice, can I see it?".



They hubble out to the car on their walking frames, and the poor one asks, confused: "but, that's not a Toyota, that's a Mitsubishi".


"I know", says the wealthy one. "But I can't say that without my teeth falling out".

Edited by Nudel

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Did you hear about the Irishman that thought a cubicle was a square testicle? 

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steve garwood

Bloke up a ladder putting up a cinema poster promoting a new film.

Women shouts up “is King Kong coming?”

He said “no it’s just the paste from my brush” 

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So they’re calling this storm storm ‘Ali’..

But i thought that’s what you call a man between two brick walls... 🥁 

Another one I remember is: what do you call a lady on top of a house ‘Ruth’

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