Funny customer stories

HWCS said:

So ill start.

Today i went to do a quote, im a traditional cleaner, it was a mid size bungalow, no conservatory, 1/2hr work.

Me "thatll be £15 Clean, ill wipe over your frames and sills too"

Her "so do you use a bucket and squeezey"

Me "yeah im a traditional cleaner"

Her "OH, well ive heard that the guys with a pole and hose do better job"

Me "oh, who told you that? Im not saying they dont do a bad job if done properly, they just do it differently to me"

Her "a window cleaner with a pole told me, and ive tried to do it myself with a squeegey and it was all streaky, so what make you think youll do a better job than me?"

Me "what do you do for a living?"

Her "im a teacher"

Me "well i help my kids with homework, but who would teach them better, you or me?"

Her "me because im a qualified teacher"

Me "well i clean windows all day everyday"

Her "yeah i see your point, but window cleanings not rocket science is it?"

Me "tell you what, i dont want your bungalow, clean it yourself, its not rocket science"

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Adman said:

I have a miserable pair of xxxxs who's windows I do.  They don't like the pole system, and I don't think they like me, and I'm pretty sure they don't like much in life other than looking fxxxxxxg miserable and moaning.

I knocked the door to let them know I was there and he answered .  " Just here to clean the windows sir"

"I suppose you better get on with it then"

*Bites cheek through grimmace*

It's a big house with wooden framed windows that I take extra care of because they're moaning xxxxs.  I notice the guy watching what I'm doing, then as I move rooms, he moves into that room and stares at me again.  I do upstairs, he goes upstairs, I do downstairs - there he is lurking in the shadows again...im finding this funny in a "if I don't find this funny my xxxx is about to boil" kind of way.

Anyhow, I finish up and knock the door for payment.

" Can you explain why you run the brush around without the water on on every window?"

"Yes, I'm clearing the cobwebs away from the tops of the frames for you"

"Why do you go across the top and then down the sides and then squirt the water around"

"That's how I wash the windows"

"But you didn't wash the bedroom windows the same as the rest, I saw you"

So I stabbed him in the throat with the end of my pole and left.

Not really, I said " let's get technical, the bedroom windows are hydrophilic glass, the water sheets down them so require less intense rinsing than the other hydrophobic glass in your property.  Can I ask - have you had any issues with how the windows look once dry, as I always check my work and have noted how good they look on my return visits?"

"I've not noticed anything but we'll see won't we?"

So I grabbed him by the face and threw him onto a spike.

Not really, I left and posted it on here.

Click to expand...

HWCS said:

So ill start.

Today i went to do a quote, im a traditional cleaner, it was a mid size bungalow, no conservatory, 1/2hr work.

Me "thatll be £15 Clean, ill wipe over your frames and sills too"

Her "so do you use a bucket and squeezey"

Me "yeah im a traditional cleaner"

Her "OH, well ive heard that the guys with a pole and hose do better job"

Me "oh, who told you that? Im not saying they dont do a bad job if done properly, they just do it differently to me"

Her "a window cleaner with a pole told me, and ive tried to do it myself with a squeegey and it was all streaky, so what make you think youll do a better job than me?"

Me "what do you do for a living?"

Her "im a teacher"

Me "well i help my kids with homework, but who would teach them better, you or me?"

Her "me because im a qualified teacher"

Me "well i clean windows all day everyday"

Her "yeah i see your point, but window cleanings not rocket science is it?"

Me "tell you what, i dont want your bungalow, clean it yourself, its not rocket science"

Click to expand...