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Windamon

got any funny stories?

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Windamon

hy guys (maybe girls also) we have all got a tale or two to tell im sure, i would like to share this with you,cleaning the old folks home here in lancs i came accross a old lady who was a reg payer, as usual the senior citizens i find are the best payers, its the way they ave been brought up i guess.however on this one occasion having cleaned her windows she opened the door and said " sorry lad iv no money at the moment will these do for now"? and gave me a bunch of bannanas! bless her,what can you do but accept.the following week she came thru and settled up. gotta laff aint ya?

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Cookie

 A few years back, whilst out canvassing, I quoted for cleaning a bungalow with a small conservatory at £12 (TBH - I quoted too cheaply but needed the work). I received a lecture from her about how expensive I was & how she knew more about what window cleaners charged than I did. She then proceeded to chase me out of the house with a broom!

 

She's moved away now & I clean for the new occupiers (£18 on an 8 weekly basis).

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laddergarder

If my bucket could talk...

 

It would tell you how I have left it more than half a dozen times in peoples garden not realising until I open the van door at the next job. At times the next day.

 

It would tell you of a time, I ran it over with my transit van, still it survived. Actually longer than the transit.

 

It would mention a times when a checky dog(no lead) did a number one in my water. The owner ran like blazes, and never mentioned. Luckilly I saw this happen in the windows relection I was working on.

 

Or the time when my daughter left a yellow rubber duck in it for me, which I never found untill I took the lid off, at my first. I got a strange look from a passer by.

 

The number times it has managed to spash the back of my legs while walking with it. 

 

It drenched me top to toe one day when I stumbled in a garden and dropped it infront of me, then simultaneously fell on it with the water sposhing up at me.

 

My trusty big green bucket.

 

Edited by laddergarder

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Ritchie

I clean a sheltered housing with mostly oap , I always collect before I clean. On this occasion I knocked the door and was greeted by the old gal dressed in her nighty/dressing gown and the first thing she said was “ I havnt any money lad, but you could always play with these”” I looked at her and said “ I’d much prefer the money luv” she apologised the next time I saw her 😁

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Part Timer

I clean an internal courtyard of a care home and the residents, some with mental health issues, use it to smoke. Cleaning away one day and one of the "ladies" with mental health issues came rushing out in a filthy mood. I ignored her and continued cleaning the windows, she then started to mutter that "they" were wrong and she didn't have the pox. After a few minutes of this she started to shout "here" trying to attract my attention, I was the only other one there. After a few shouts, that I was ignoring, she shouted "get your c0ck out and let me see if you have any scabs. Fortunately a nurse came out to save me.

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Davy G
3 hours ago, laddergarder said:

If my bucket could talk...

 

It would tell you how I have left it more than half a dozen times in peoples garden not realising until I open the van door at the next job. At times the next day.

 

It would tell you of a time, I ran it over with my transit van, still it survived. Actually longer than the transit.

 

It would mention a times when a checky dog(no lead) did a number one in my water. The owner ran like blazes, and never mentioned. Luckilly I saw this happen in the windows relection I was working on.

 

Or the time when my daughter left a yellow rubber duck in it for me, which I never found untill I took the lid off, at my first. I got a strange look from a passer by.

 

The number times it has managed to spash the back of my legs while walking with it. 

 

It drenched me top to toe one day when I stumbled in a garden and dropped it infront of me, then simultaneously fell on it with the water sposhing up at me.

 

My trusty big green bucket.

 

Abandoned, driven over, p..... d In. Not surprised it takes the opportunity to get its own back. Your "trusty big green bucket". 😉

Edited by Davy G

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NoName

Custy's downpipe was blocked causing penetrating damp on her wall - I needed to dissemble the whole downpipe as blocked below ground level - she stood by chatting as I worked, getting along fine - whilst I was bent down working - she piped up ' so you're going to sort out my damp patch then' (with a wry smile) I calmly turned and innocent as a lamb said 'yes this will sort it...😲

 

Did laugh in the van on the way to my next job!

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steve garwood

A quick apology to those on this forum who’ve been on here for a long time as I’ve told this story before.

Roughly four years ago a had a worker called Martin. He was a very good worker but lacked common sense.

Them days we used to do internal cleans. We was in an old girls property. Although elderly, she was razor sharp in the head.

When Martin finished her patio doors, he turned round to her, and in a loud patronising voice he said “can I use your toilet please?”

”Of course you can love” she replies.

”Shall I go upstairs?” he asked loudly and pointing 

“Only if you want to p*ss in my roof, this is a bungalow” 😆

I never let him forget that 

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Davy G
7 minutes ago, steve garwood said:

A quick apology to those on this forum who’ve been on here for a long time as I’ve told this story before.

Roughly four years ago a had a worker called Martin. He was a very good worker but lacked common sense.

Them days we used to do internal cleans. We was in an old girls property. Although elderly, she was razor sharp in the head.

When Martin finished her patio doors, he turned round to her, and in a loud patronising voice he said “can I use your toilet please?”

”Of course you can love” she replies.

”Shall I go upstairs?” he asked loudly and pointing 

“Only if you want to p*ss in my roof, this is a bungalow” 😆

I never let him forget that 

Ha ha ha! I've not seen it before. Would be happy to read it again if I had. 😁

Edited by Davy G

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Dave B
9 minutes ago, steve garwood said:

A quick apology to those on this forum who’ve been on here for a long time as I’ve told this story before.

Roughly four years ago a had a worker called Martin. He was a very good worker but lacked common sense.

Them days we used to do internal cleans. We was in an old girls property. Although elderly, she was razor sharp in the head.

When Martin finished her patio doors, he turned round to her, and in a loud patronising voice he said “can I use your toilet please?”

”Of course you can love” she replies.

”Shall I go upstairs?” he asked loudly and pointing 

“Only if you want to p*ss in my roof, this is a bungalow” 😆

I never let him forget that 

 

Screenshot_20191127-211344_Samsung Internet.jpg

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Part Timer

I can't remember who it was on here but the funniest I ever heard was when their worker asked to go to the customers toilet. He knew that he wasn't the most hygienic of people so as they had to do the internal windows he thought he would check everything was ok. He went into the toilet and found skid marks everywhere so he got the brush and cleaned them all up. Later in the day he collared him about the state he left the toilet, his worker said he only had a pee in the ensuite so he'd cleaned the house owners skid marks up 😁

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Martyn

Don't know if they are exactly funny but a couple of stories from when we used to do a posh hotel.

 

One year they had a couple of really fit German birds on the staff, one day they came out into the car park as they finished their lunchtime shift and proceeded to get into a really passionate tongue tangling session before getting into their car and driving off.

I think it was probably for my benefit rather than them actually being into each other, but either way if you're into that sort of thing it was HOT!

 

On another occasion there was an elderly (80+) English couple staying at the hotel, they had evidently asked for a taxi to be called to take them into town, when it turned up it was a Ford Galaxy. Well you should have seen the tantrum the bloke threw because it was a people carrier, there was no way he was going in that. He was like an over tired two year old throwing an epic tantrum, it was embarrassing to witness.

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RWCleaning
On 27/11/2019 at 22:45, Part Timer said:

I can't remember who it was on here but the funniest I ever heard was when their worker asked to go to the customers toilet. He knew that he wasn't the most hygienic of people so as they had to do the internal windows he thought he would check everything was ok. He went into the toilet and found skid marks everywhere so he got the brush and cleaned them all up. Later in the day he collared him about the state he left the toilet, his worker said he only had a pee in the ensuite so he'd cleaned the house owners skid marks up 😁

Yeh there was a thread called ‘just powdering my nose’ had all theses stories on haha 

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Bart90
On 27/11/2019 at 22:45, Part Timer said:

I can't remember who it was on here but the funniest I ever heard was when their worker asked to go to the customers toilet. He knew that he wasn't the most hygienic of people so as they had to do the internal windows he thought he would check everything was ok. He went into the toilet and found skid marks everywhere so he got the brush and cleaned them all up. Later in the day he collared him about the state he left the toilet, his worker said he only had a pee in the ensuite so he'd cleaned the house owners skid marks up 😁

We laughed so much that day and to date is the funniest thing that has ever happened to me at work ......although there is a close second which i'll have to write up at some point.....

Edited by Bart90

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Incheck
On 27/11/2019 at 21:14, Dave B said:

 

Screenshot_20191127-211344_Samsung Internet.jpg

Good old uncle albert

”you should have been with me on the russian convoys, one night it was so cold, the flame on my lighter froze”

😂 cant forget that one

 

And yes, before arriving at the first job 8am, some years ago, we came across an unfortunate high school lad holding an elderly lady up for dear life trying to carry her up a country lane. Hed found her horizontal at the bottom of the lane We asked if everything was ok, it appeared the pensioner lady was extremely intoxicated. The poor lad was on his way to school so it was only right to relieve him of his duties and take over. Once she was home we knocked the neighbors to tell them she was in need of help and the reply was “oh no she’s done it again” apparently she goes on a bender once in a while when her husbands not around 🤷‍♂️ Wasnt funny at the time but looking back on it...certainly one you dont forget about

Edited by Incheck

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