Franks day off...(tuffers bedtime story)

Discussion in 'Tutorials & DIY' started by cheapncheerful, Jan 17, 2015.

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  1. cheapncheerful

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    Frank likes a rest at the weekend....his chair out...remote in reach...food and drink to come to him...he certainly doesn’t get the last bit......but......

    The dogs tag had come off as the hole had worn to the edge and the wife was off to get a new one....frank hates waste and said...i will drill a new hole...

    Of course frank always did buy cheap and his battery powered drill was always flat...this wasn’t really franks fault as the first challenge drill with two batteries for forty quid from argos lasted forever and was always charged so frank just bought the same when it died....and the new one was not as good...anyway after drilling away for ages in slow mo the battery finally gave up and frank put it on charge but he hates leaving a job but really wanted to get back to his chair...

    He could of course use the mains drill but couldn’t be bothered to get that out as well...then he spied his water fed pole..

    Now this is always kept in the car at the weekend but frank didn’t like the overnight forecast for Sunday night and was scared it may all freeze up so had brought it in and he thought about the jobs he wanted to do on it..

    Of course frank is a bit of a cheap skate and as such it was only a cheap pole but it still worked okay if somewhat bendy and certainly a gym workout to use but one thing it lacked since he got it was a butt plug...oh sorry cap...frank gets mixed up sometimes...

    He had seen a nice ali one on ebay with a side outing for the pipe but when he looked again it had gone, and frank not so keen on plastic as he isn’t known for his soft touch...

    Why hadn’t frank just clicked buy....well it involved getting out of his chair going into the car and measuring the size of the end of his pole...too much hard work..

    Anyway frank had spied a rubber cap type thing lying around which had come off a broken pole and he decided that would fit and that would cost him nowt...

    Frank soon forgot about the dog tag and had his wfp on the chest freezer...first job undo the brush head which frank did easy ...disconnect the easy quick connectors and frank admired his work..what a pro he was...and so to the other end he had to drill a hole in his beloved fibre glass banana and the battery having charged a bit, and lucky for frank the right drill bit to hand off he set to work...yep the battery wasn’t charged enough yet but frank was on fire now , no stopping him and so out came the mains drill...that wasn’t too hard after all and away he goes...

    It was franks lucky day as the hole was just the right size for the 8mm pipe...and of course frank never checked he just guessed it would be...next job pull the pipe up through the pole and then re direct it through the new hole...frank decided it was easier this way as he didn’t like the prospect of trying to rethread it through the pole..

    So far so good as frank tried to get it through the new side hole ..it went through easy from outside but not so from inside...a bit of swearing later and he succeeded and pulled it all back from the top.

    Frank now decided to stick on his butt plug er end cap protector....it was not quite the fit he had hoped for and he went off for a hammer....

    franks tools are never easy to find and then he suddenly realised if he stood the pole up he could just tap it against the ground.....okay it didn’t go on straight as he liked or as much as he would have liked but it was on...and so frank decided to glue it around the edge just to make sure it stayed put.

    And then out into the garden to fully extend and test....the garden isn’t very inviting at the mo its very very muddy and as frank side stepped the old dogs back end deposits on his path...(wifes job not franks) he found it very hard to find any space to fully extend horizontally and keep his pole clean..and as for the extending....er....the side entry had stopped the free flow of the hose and so frank was not happy as he tugged and tugged.....he was used to the pole flying up...

    Hmmmm, some thought later frank decided either make the hole bigger or ....give up on the side entry of his hose and go back to the free movement an open pole bottom meant..

    He also noticed that putting his pole away wet was not a good idea so he dried it all whilst it was fully extended and thought....and went upstairs to the bathroom cabinet for some talc...and hey it worked...as he talced his pole he was happy that at least something was working.

    So with half a garden stuck to the wet glue frank collapsed his pole and pondered how to get it back to how it used to be...after roping his son into lining it up he pulled out the pipework again not getting carried away so he caught it coming out of the side connection and replaced it back out of the bottom...the reason frank wanted a side out hose was because he had already lost two complete internal sections of hose as it split at the bottom when he laid it vertical and squashed the hose..

    So now he put it all back together and he was very tired but at least he had his butt ..end protector in place..he put some nice banana coloured duct tape over it and thought at least one job was done as the pole was cracking at the base...

    Not too bad for frank anyway as he had averted a major problem before it had arisen in the working day....he had noticed how the brush head pipework had gone too far into the pole and he couldn’t pull it back like he should be able too....and it turns out the pole brush head screw had moved under the duress of franks clumsy attempts to clean things and was pinching the pipe work and would not have lasted much longer...so a tap back with a hammer and spot of glue and all was well again.

    But....what about the dog tag....so battery charged up off frank went holding onto the tag and drilling away like mad.....okay frank now understands how friction makes metal hot as he soon let go of the tag..

    Still he carefully persevered and got there in the end.........and that was franks efforts all over as he raced back to his chair....his pole all ready for action again come Monday...its not so easy this new fangled water fed pole lark..

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    and yes frank does have to work around a lot of :turd: in his house..
     

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  2. Smurf

    Smurf Banned
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    Sounds like frank had a better day than me today
     
  3. Tuffers

    Tuffers Hero
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    Thanks for the story Frank. I was going to save it for bedtime, but I couldn't resist :)
     
  4. andy w

    andy w Well-Known Member
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    That frank sounds like a walking disaster :laugh: only joking cheapncheerful :thumbsup:
     
  5. cheapncheerful

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    I am I MEAN he is...:D
     
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