Farts

Discussion in 'Chit Chat & Introductions' started by Tuffers, Nov 8, 2013.

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  1. Tuffers

    Tuffers Hero
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    They are funny aren't they :D copied from another forum, a story about a fart.

    And then there was this other time when I worked in this old bloke's house. He said "a couple of radiators aren't working, I'll show you". So I walked behind him to the living room. As he bent down to show me the cold spot on the radiator, he let out a rasping fart. Being the professional I was, I didn't crack my face and he said nothing.
    Then I followed him upstairs to the other radiator, each step he took on the stairs he did a little pump. I still held it together. When he bent down to show me the next cold spot, he did one of those that sounds like a bluebottle buzzing around.
    I was by now literally biting my tongue to stop myself laughing, but cracked when he said "right me Mon, can I leave you to it? Cuz I think I'm gunna **** meself".
     
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  2. Dodger

    Dodger Hero
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    Haha classic. My gran used to be like that bless her.
     
  3. Smurf

    Smurf Banned
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    Man pants work for me :Image13:
     
  4. shazzy692002

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    PMSL. Just been on a cruise, I heard so many men walk pass and fart, I would just look at my hubby and say "did he really just do that". Even hubby was disgusted.
     
  5. Duncs

    Duncs Grand Master
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    what a topic
    had one today collected of this old woman as she handed me the money she farted!! dirty little dog
    she didint crack a smile nowt hayho £3 tip tho she can pump as much as she wants
     
  6. Tuffers

    Tuffers Hero
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    I used to set light to em :D
     
  7. Duncs

    Duncs Grand Master
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    what at your age eh
     
  8. Tuffers

    Tuffers Hero
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    Me and a mate went to Madeira for a Uefa cup match a few years back. We had to stop over in Lisbon. We had no digs, so just went on the p!ss till Lisbon closed. We headed back to the airport for some kip. No planes were flying that time of night, but loads of people dossing down on benches and chilling waiting for their early morning flights. Being p!seed and typical English footy fans we didn't care about much. Anyway, as we entered the airport building we both started farting in unison as we walked, one pump for every step and it echoed. The looks on peoples faces was a picture. Later, my mate fell asleep on some stairs. I pulled his kegs down showing his ****. He was still asleep baring all when the morning rush started. The amount of double takes was brilliant.
     
  9. Whizz-Bizz

    Whizz-Bizz Forum Addict
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    Has anyone read the book, bubbles in the bath by Ivor Windybottom :Image14:
     
  10. Andykarlaxxx

    Andykarlaxxx Forum Addict
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    Lmao tuffers
     
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