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Confessions Of A Window Cleaner.

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dmw

Well-known member
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864
Location
North Manchester
As per title. Replying to another thread I mentioned a silly little mistake I once made by doing  this terraced row where I did most of them, one day a customer who'd just moved in asked for a price to clean her windows,  I gave her a quote she agreed, happy days..... so I did all the fronts moved the van to the backings and did the run on there including my new customer and you guessed it, I cleaned the wrong bloody house.

That was bad enough, but it took nearly a year before anyone knew, and it was only a chance encounter with this random guy who's windows I'd been cleaning free for all that time asked me what I was doing in his  back garden. He apparently spent a lot of time working abroad and never saw me.

As for my " new" customer she didn't even notice ( probably because the insides were a bit crusty).

Anyway everyone had a good laugh when I "fessed up  but embarrassing all the same.

The " abroad" guy must have felt sorry for me as he took me on to clean his regular, so it wasn't all bad.

So come on, anyone on here have any glass rubbing misdemeanors?

You can even start with the sentence 

"A window cleaner I know....." to protect your credibility......

 
As per title. Replying to another thread I mentioned a silly little mistake I once made by doing  this terraced row where I did most of them, one day a customer who'd just moved in asked for a price to clean her windows,  I gave her a quote she agreed, happy days..... so I did all the fronts moved the van to the backings and did the run on there including my new customer and you guessed it, I cleaned the wrong bloody house.

That was bad enough, but it took nearly a year before anyone knew, and it was only a chance encounter with this random guy who's windows I'd been cleaning free for all that time asked me what I was doing in his  back garden. He apparently spent a lot of time working abroad and never saw me.

As for my " new" customer she didn't even notice ( probably because the insides were a bit crusty).

Anyway everyone had a good laugh when I "fessed up  but embarrassing all the same.

The " abroad" guy must have felt sorry for me as he took me on to clean his regular, so it wasn't all bad.

So come on, anyone on here have any glass rubbing misdemeanors?

You can even start with the sentence 

"A window cleaner I know....." to protect your credibility......
If i ever get a a bunch of houses like that ill give them some free number stickers for there back gates ? 

 
You always do it once until you get caught. I was cleaning new flats and I did one extra on the ground floor. The guy was in his bed and started shouting what are doing to my window, I then realised I had gone too far along. Happy days

 
Done the wrong house a few times. Was doing this one house and a guy was standing in the next door neighbours garden and asked me to start cleaning his windows. No problem I said I'll do them after I do this house. I assumed his house was next door as that's the garden he was standing in, so I cleaned all the fronts and as I was making my way around the back the wifey came out and said who are you you're not my window cleaner....penny drop. The next house down was his. I was pretty peed off with both him and myself for not clarifying. Lesson learnt lol.

I've also jotted down the wrong house number when people have asked me and cleaned the wrong house haha.

 
I was cleaning a house once, wasnt uncommon for nobody to be in,

next minute a load of hearses turn up, the old boy had died the week before and we were upladders cleaning the conservatory.

THe coffin was already inside in the dining room!!!

Was a tad awkward asking for the money!

had plenty of deaths and ones and the wrong houses cleaned etc

 
I have a strange problem but the Doc was no help. Everyone is paying me through Bacs and using their full name as if I know them. Every month I get another few and I have to track down their text to verify their address, no one seems to put their address on bank transfers. They must think I only do their estate. Their is one good thing regarding this, when a new customer calls I say are you between Kim and Susan across from Craig? They then think I know them personally and have known them for years. ?

 
I was cleaning a house once, wasnt uncommon for nobody to be in,

next minute a load of hearses turn up, the old boy had died the week before and we were upladders cleaning the conservatory.

THe coffin was already inside in the dining room!!!

Was a tad awkward asking for the money!

had plenty of deaths and ones and the wrong houses cleaned etc
 I think you were rather disrespectful......You should have gone to the service and took your money out of the collection plate.⚰

 
Confessions of a window cleaner.

i once went to a strip club slightly out of town  and got a dance off this Hot girl. Anyway a few weeks later the Penny dropped and I realised it was one of my customers!

i totally didn’t recognise her!

she definitely knew it was me because while she was making small talk at the strip club I told her my profession. 
 

thankfully she didn’t bring it up while paying for her clean But always had a smug look. She knew I knew it was her, but neither of us mentioned the elephant in the room.

She moved a few months later so didn’t have to deal with the awkwardness every 4 weeks.

 
Damaged my ankle ligaments a while ago and had to have about 6 month off work. So one of my mates started looking after the round for me. I had the wrong number down for one of the houses on the list ( it was the number of the house next door to the one I actually clean) so he cleaned the wrong house, knocked, guy came out and paid no prob. Didn’t even ask what he was doing there etc. Still got the custy 10 yrs later. 

 
Yeah been there a few times, got four houses in on a row of front only terraces before i realised i was on the wrong street (old part of town all streets look the same) the penny dropped later than it should have as the windows were unusually dirty.

another time i walked in to the wrong back garden on a first clean, waved at the lady at the breakfast table who was in her dressing gown munching her cereal... looking through me as if i wasn't there...german shepherd sat next to her...started thinking to myself god ive got a cheerful one here...booked the window clean doesnt exactly looked thrilled to see me. Clearly not a morning person. penny soon dropped as the lady i had spoken to on the phone had an indian name & accent, this lady didn’t fit the description, so i was scratching my head thinking this doesnt appear to be the lady i spoke to on the phone ?. Packed my gear up gave the nod of apology & made my exit.  i should have been next door ?three  new detached houses had been built in a large area of vacant land between two old ones half way down the street so it now became 53 a b & c...(between 53 & 54) even the postmen and delivery services were having trouble apparently so the construction of the new builds has clearly ruined any peace & harmony the street once enjoyed. 

And a separate time on a new build  estate where they build those red brick houses that all look the same...no character to them whatsoever...used to always clean one house in the middle of the street and no others...one day a Chinese fella pops his head out the front door...”why you clean window?”

Me stood there a bit perplexed...“ummm...thought you were next door mate ?‍♂️“ 

He replied “Ooo i wonder why i get free window clean”
it happens ?

 
Few years back I waitered at a charity ladies night. Usual thing, drag artist, strippers with a few topless firefighters wearing leggings. 

The drag artist had us playing a few daft games with the ladies and as the evening progressed to the music and dancing we danced with anyone that wanted to.

There was quite a bit of sauciness from some ladies as you'd expect and one in particular was pretty determined to shove her tongue in my mouth, unfortunately my then wife was attending which ensued I remained professional throughout.

Roll forward a few years and I'm cleaning in a back garden of a customer's house that I've never seen before. The patio door opens, we introduce ourselves and I ask her what she does for a living. She tells me she works for the Police control, that's when the penny dropped for me. I asked her if she went to a ladies night at the rugby club a couple of years ago and that's when the penny dropped for her. She reddened and said "I was single then". I don't think that was strictly true, naughty lady lol.

 
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I read the title of this thread and thought it was gonna be about window cleaners getting paid in kind by lonely housewives. Alas it's not. It's mistakes we have made at work. I only have stories to tell about the former not the latter. ?

 

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