Slugs

[Tuffers]

I've been collecting some for a misdemeanour I have in mind. So, on Sunday night when it got dark I take a wine bottle out to the back garden (which has a bit of wine left in the bottom) and catch some slugs. I push them through the narrow neck and they land in the wine. Next morning all the slugs I caught are all on their backs ****** as farts. Since then no slugs have been seen in my garden. Why? I'm Perplexed!

 

[TolishAPurd]

I've been collecting some for a misdemeanour I have in mind. So, on Sunday night when it got dark I take a wine bottle out to the back garden (which has a bit of wine left in the bottom) and catch some slugs. I push them through the narrow neck and they land in the wine. Next morning all the slugs I caught are all on their backs ****** as farts. Since then no slugs have been seen in my garden. Why? I'm Perplexed!

Are you planning to dump them on some hagglers veggy patch?

 

[Tuffers]

Are you planning to dump them on some hagglers veggy patch?

I tell you what TAP, you're on the ball /emoticons/wink.png. The Mrs has a new allotment plot and the woman across the way moaned at us burning a load of stuff we'd cut down. So I said to Mrs T that I was going to 'slug' her cabbages /emoticons/biggrin.png. I've got about 10 so far /emoticons/smile.png

 

[Tuffers]

But they're all too ****** to eat anything /emoticons/biggrin.png

 

[TolishAPurd]

I tell you what TAP, you're on the ball /emoticons/wink.png. The Mrs has a new allotment plot and the woman across the way moaned at us burning a load of stuff we'd cut down. So I said to Mrs T that I was going to 'slug' her cabbages /emoticons/biggrin.png. I've got about 10 so far /emoticons/smile.png

Brilliant.:laugh:

A little bit of pi$$ in a spray bottle from a far, could give those cabbages a nice natural taste that she can't quite put her finger on.

 

[TolishAPurd]

I worked in a gym many moons back and had this old bag that used to give me **** day in day out. She was a friend of the bosses so I had no comeback, she made my life and others a total misery. So I set about some action with no purpose other than to give me something to smile about every time she bothered me;

She had this little plant that she was rearing in the lounge area, so I decided I was going to help water it..... with salt water. Messed it right up.

She kept her own personal bowl and cutlery in the kitchen just for her and her one friend (who was also a cnut btw). ...so I used this to feed the gym cat that she hated so much.

She kept her toothbrush in a drawer round the back.... most satisfying pi$$ I ever took. It was an early morning one too.- golden brown, textured like sun.

Still makes me smile to this day. /emoticons/biggrin.png

 

[Dave B]

Don't upset tolish..vindictive bugger /emoticons/biggrin.png

 

[cheapncheerful]

yeh think I have mentioned my neighbour as I walked down the garden one night I could here something falling around...

looked through my spy hole in the fence to see him with a torch lobbing slugs and snails over my bloomin fence...to be fair....he was lobbing them over other neighbours fences as well..

so of course I lobbed some back...

thought he had got the message but seems to be a bit slow...

so next night I lobbed over some of my dogs :turd: since then I think he has got the message..

are you sure you cant get oil out of slugs boy are they slimey barstewards...

revenge always feels good../emoticons/biggrin.png

 

[Dave B]

Brilliant.:laugh:
A little bit of pi$$ in a spray bottle from a far, could give those cabbages a nice natural taste that she can't quite put her finger on.

That won't do anything

A bit of glyphosate weed killer sprayed on the sly would do the trick

 

[Tuffers]

I've got 12 stashed now /emoticons/smile.png

 

[cheapncheerful]

Don't upset tolish..vindictive bugger

hes not the only one ya dont want to upset

daveyboy

if you want some tuffers Im sure we could all send you some

 

[Dave B]

Ooh I'm all scared now dave

 

[Tuffers]

Maaarvelous :rofl:

 

[cheapncheerful]

i see tuffers dont miss a post..:rofl:

 

[TolishAPurd]

Never mess with anyone that has access to your toothbrush./emoticons/biggrin.png

Weedkiller is a great revenge tool. You can just draw a huge c0ck on the lawn. But ifyou want to go a little more subtle, its better to do it with fertiliser instead- no dead grass, and yet they'll have to keep mowing it every few days to stop the schlong showing through.:thumbsup:

 

[cheapncheerful]

yes the toothbrush reminds me...dont give your keys to your house to your best man to look after on your wedding night..

hmmmm toothpaste on the light switch ..how did that get there...

cornflakes in the honeymoon bed....

amongst many other strange ideas...

too knackered for tuffering after I had cleaned up the mess..

what a dipstick cheapie...

 

[SPCleaning]

Never mess with anyone that has access to your toothbrush./emoticons/biggrin.png
Weedkiller is a great revenge tool. You can just draw a huge c0ck on the lawn. But ifyou want to go a little more subtle, its better to do it with fertiliser instead- no dead grass, and yet they'll have to keep mowing it every few days to stop the schlong showing through.:thumbsup:

Love the fertiliser revenge. Best of all it can't be criminal damage. You have enhanced not destroyed the grass by feeding.

I have a possible victim in mind.

 

[TolishAPurd]

Love the fertiliser revenge. Best of all it can't be criminal damage. You have enhanced not destroyed the grass by feeding.I have a possible victim in mind.

Exactly. A mixture of granules and liquid would probably be the best way to go for lasting effects.

 

[cheapncheerful]

so if I did a nice picture in the lawn of my dragon lady neighbour who I think nicked my glasses which fell over when I cut the hedge..

its amazing what you can pick up on the windowcleaning forum...

maybe a big pair of specs...:rofl: