Someone snipped mee hose :(

[Alien Human]

.......at least it wasn't mee willy /emoticons/wink.png

Cleaning flats above and ground floor tenant comes out complaining about water coming down......fair enough as she said she had her garden door open .....but I was non the wiser to this as her garden wall is over 6 foot ******* high.

Her 'water coming down etc etc....'

Me 'I'm really sorry about that, very sorry, very sorry etc etc'

Her ' What are you going to do about it'

Me 'I've said sorry do I am just going to carry on cleaning'

Her 'You are not going to carry on cleaning'

Me 'Yes I am - I have apologised'

Her 'No you are not'

Me 'Really sorry but i am' .....and turn hosepipe back on.

Her 'I will cut your hose then'

Me 'If you cut my hose then I will call the police'

.......and basically that's what happened. I had the option to ask for her to be arrested for criminal damage but we settled on a verbal apology and £75.

Now.......the above looks really polite and without blowing my own trumpet I am dead chuffed about coming through a challenging situation......but inside lads I was funkin fuming planning her slow painful demise.

I called the local cleaning supplier that I am good mates with and did all my effing and blinding with them - and it will only cost a fiver to fix.

I am ashamed to admit that much less challenging situations in past have led me being the one who ends up the one being in the turd pile so just goes to show what a change in lifestyle this job has provided me.

Keep saying this to remind myself more than anything else: 'Respond - don't react' /emoticons/smile.png

 

[cheapncheerful]

brilliant story cant believe how arsey some people are but they have no life so they go out of their way to make something happen..

all I want to do is wrap the feckin pipe around her neck....

count to ten calm down drink da smurfy medicine...dont know how you kept control but great result cant believe some people..[delusional][delusional][delusional][delusional][delusional]

very strange people out there...

now do give her a nice smile if you ever see her again...

 

[Jake]

Great outcome, sad she did cut it!

But well done for sorting it out, £75 ay' not bad... Take tomorrow off a blow it all on beer

 

[Alien Human]

Great outcome, sad she did cut it!
But well done for sorting it out, £75 ay' not bad... Take tomorrow off a blow it all on beer

Went for £100 - she said £50 - we compromised on £75

My dad always said 'Ask how much it is then offer 50%.....then work your way up' .....which is really embarrassing but in certain situations works quite well. So I basically did it the other way round /emoticons/smile.png

The hose is £50 online but I wouldn't settle for that as I had to consider loss of earnings and the time to fix it (even if it will only cost a fiver)

 

[simon]

thats awesome well done, thats the proer way to react

 

[TolishAPurd]

You're a legend Alien. Good job mate.

 

[MrBump]

Fair play for keeping your cool. I can't believe she actually cut it, normally people are all talk. She could of just asked how long you would be and shut her doors! Maybe trad that window next time... Then chuck the dirty water over her windows afterwards :rofl:

 

[Smurf]

I've found that a really peed off woman is the deadliest creature on the planet. You where very luck she only cut your wfp hose as it could have been quite easily something else./emoticons/biggrin.png

 

[cheapncheerful]

wow yes I still remember my joke about a certain customer not going down too well ...I struggled to hold her back...twas a close call...

 

[Alien Human]

I've found that a really peed off woman is the deadliest creature on the planet. You where very luck she only cut your wfp hose as it could have been quite easily something else./emoticons/biggrin.png

That's almost word for word what I said to the policeman smurf /emoticons/smile.png

 

[Smurf]

I got beaten up by a woman whilst I was sat in me car. Apparently she did not like the way I spoke to her kids. Hardly surprising really as they barricaded the road off just a bit of fun. Word of warning lock yer doors and never wind the window down when you see a woman at your driver’s door /emoticons/biggrin.png

 

[Alien Human]

That's almost word for word what I said to the policeman smurf /emoticons/smile.png

Wait......everyone's marking my post as funny (which I appreciate).....but I was being serious.

Obviously didn't say those exact words (not sure if PC Plod would have seen the funny side)......but i did say that I was quite glad it was just the hosepipe that got done and not the side (the other side......not the side Frank damaged......or a slashed wheel etc.

But what is quite funny is i kept of hearing this buzzing noise and was panicking that she had snipped mee shurflo pump as well so kept putting my ear really close to it.......but then realised that the button on the electric drill (which I don't know why I carry around as its only asking for Frank trouble) was being gently pushed and drilling. I really really really would not have been very happy if Frank had drilled a hole in mee van as well as mee hose getting snipped.......would not be as calm-ish /emoticons/smile.png

 

[Smurf]

good job you did not have a drill in it then or that crazed woman would have had a field day drilling holes in anything she liked the look of./emoticons/biggrin.png

 

[Alien Human]

.....so.....went back to finish the job today after yesterday's fun & games and pleased to say: job done!

She wasn't in which made it a whole lot easier.......

Alien Human 1

Crazy Loop da Loop Woman 0

Now......where's PC Plod with mee money. Supposed to get it tonight. Hope he doesn't do a runner......

Still get sweaty, nervous and generally look as though I may be drug smuggling at that exact moment whenever I'm within a 5 metre radius of the poliz.

Even today I parked the van in a loading bay, went into shop for a coffee, saw a poliz car had parked directly behind me whilst I was there ....went into the next shop to bide time, bought some Broken Honey, Mustard and Onion Pretsel Pieces ......whatever the funk they are......PC Plod still there but didn't see me sneak into the van from passenger side now with my cap down and shades on driving off.

This was all because I was convinced that I was going to Alcatraz for parking in a loading bay when I was just getting a coffee.......but my subsequent actions basically look well dodgy. I might as well just knock on his poliz window and go 'Hello Officer, I just went for a coffee, I'm sorry about that, but i have not just murdered anyone or robbed a bank so I'm just going to drive off in peace now, sorry for bothering you & good luck with catching the crooks'

Seriously, my posts are going to start knocking CNC off the Guniess Book Of World Records for : 'Waffliest Post On A Window Cleaning Forum'

 

[Jake]

We're all the same @Alien Human !

My favourite one is when I drive past a cop car coming the other way i always start singing and looking around to make it out like I'm all relaxed and innocent!!

 

[strech]

all I can say Is a woman scorned. Will TAKE IT OUT ON THE HOSE :rofl:every time..

 

[SPCleaning]

We're all the same @Alien Human !
My favourite one is when I drive past a cop car coming the other way i always start singing and looking around to make it out like I'm all relaxed and innocent!!

I thought I should enlighten you poor individuals who sweat on sight of a passing patrol even though the last crime you committed was stealing a kiss behind the bike shed in primary school.

The driver of said unit beat car is just not interested. No really he isn't. His mind is on that mountain of paperwork waiting for him at the nick, or wondering if the person he has been trying to get a statement from for the last three weeks will be home today, so that he can finally submit the file for clearance. He will have seen you parked in a loading bay because he has been highly trained in observation, but there is no chance he is going to go and find a place to legally park his unit beat car just so he can walk back and give you grief and himself yet more paperwork.

In truth he prefers to use a CID car that looks nothing like a police car, so he can drive at the same speed as the rest of the traffic and he then is free of the annoying situation, where when driving a marked car everyone gives way to him so that he is not driving behind them. Equally when driving along in a marked vehicle, the car in front is driving at 25 in a 30 zone just to make sure he won't get pulled. The officer will be swearing every time that car goes the same way he intended to go.

He has respect for those braver drivers who carefully overtake him on a duel carriage way when he plays the 'Will they or won't they' game. He drives at a steady 60 and watches the huge queue of cars behind. This amuses him.

He prefers not to use blue lights and two tones. He grumbles if 'they' call him on the radio to do yet another mind numbing job.

This is the lot of your average beat bobby.

Now,..if he is a Road Traffic Officer,...ignore all of the above. He is out hunting and he is going to have you. /emoticons/wink.png

 

[Dave B]

Tell thatbto the numpty who gave me a ticket when delivering a load of urgent refrigerated insulin to a chemist on lower clapton road east london

Red route ..loading bays only until 4pm

I pulled up at 10 to and ran in

They were busy and then had to check and sign for everything under the controlled drugs act as i also had some equasym which is for adhd

Got back out at 2 minutes past and the guy was parked (illegally)behind me in a marked van and was sticking a ticket on me

I told him i got there at 10 to

He said i know we drove past you

I then said look mate i got urgent drugs and am only doing my job

He said I'm only doing my job

So i said i hope next time it's not your kids in need of urgent drugs..but a bit ruder but i don't want another telling off by gav

He then replied sir i think you should move on before you get yourself in trouble

Moral of the story is i know some very nice coppers but there is always 1 ***** to spoil their reputation

 

[Dave B]

Nowadays o don't acknowledge police on the road..i am doing nowt wrong so nothing to do with me..and yes i have been known to overtake them on the motorway at 75 lol

 

[Dave B]

I'm not anti police spg sorry SPCleaning i understand there are rules but things like that surely anybody with a brain would let that slide as they can see what happened, it was unintentional overstaying by 2 minutes and somebodys health was relying on that medicine

 

[MrBump]

Be careful with the speeding In a van. Unbeknown to me, I have been driving around vans and 3.5t's for over ten years and never knew the speed for vans is 10mph lower than cars on country lanes and dual carriage ways. But the same on normal roads and motorways. Makes no sense I know. What makes less sense is that if I put a bed and cooker in the back of my van and registered it as a campervan, with everything else, brakes etc remaining the same I could go as fast as a car. So be aware, I drove around for years never knowing that even a normal van has different speed limits. Worth knowing if you don't already. Car-derived vans, astra-vans and similar are ok, anything designed as a van from the ground up counts as a van. Even sadly my swb transporter... In a line of cars doing the same speed but as I was a van I got fined £100, seems fair. Not.