a day in the life of cheapie...zzzzzzz

Discussion in 'Chit Chat & Introductions' started by cheapncheerful, Jul 16, 2015.

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  1. cheapncheerful

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    so cheapie left at 10.05am ...in the morning...very early for cheapie...10.11 at his first job....yep cheapie stays local...

    on the drive, car doors open, money left, no one in and cheapie is happy as can be....:D

    came around the front to see a real window cleaner with a real posh van ....yeh ...all cheapie had was his banana and his hose had been cut in half so ...he had to keep moving his back pack...but cheapie let on....and mentioned our marvelous forum...which he had been on...

    its a good job he wasn't watching really as of course ....the pole hose hozelock connector came flying off....

    so finished that one ..it had only come in to do this morning...he shot off miles in the opposite direction to keep a booked appointment...to cut a ladys bush...

    yeh...cheapies lucky day ...she is always in but...hey the drive was empty ...he was up the ladder like a monkey and had the windows done in a flash...well she makes him do stuff.:devil:..no not that type of stuff...well inside the velux....and inside all the doors along the back..

    the windows were nice and clean anyway as it was only a couple of weeks so cheapie happy ...windows stuff in car and out with his new gloves his blunt saw and edge clippers....and off he went....he was keeping very quiet as he didn't want next door to spot him as the ladies hedge was in between the two.

    but as he came down the drive...that hedge looked a lot lot bigger than when cheapie had said twenty quid...

    yeh another cheapncheerful ****** up...still he asked the bloke what height and double checked as once cut you can't stick it back and the lady told him how she wanted a nice rounded shape....yeh,..sure....

    as she went off to get cheapie a cuppa he shot up his sixteen foot ladder....no the hedge wasn't quite that high but needs must ...so balanced against a mess of holly and clematis he got out his blunt saw and went mad.....yeah it wasn't as easy as cheapie had planned...

    in his tiny brain he would just find the holly main stem cut through and as it went over the lot would follow...yeh...thats not what happened...it was such a mass of years of tangle that it just stayed put and laughed at cheapie...

    lucky for cheapie the nice guy had buggered off and left him too it so he just sawed like a mad un at anything in sight...

    not a good job at all...£20 my ****...eventually there was a sign cheapie was winning..so he shot onto next door to do her half whilst his cuppa cooled and started hacking away again...yep ..you can imagine the smile on his face as the other lady arrived.....oh....he just wanted to be left alone..so he went back to the other side for his tea...but not before she collared him....

    canyoujuster....yep off she went...mend the gutter....push the bit of wood back on the eaves...what only two canyoujusters...?

    so he went next door sipped on his tea and he popped out so cheapie said oh...i'm just off next door...backwards forwards....trying to dodge...

    he mended the gutter and shoved the wood back and said it may need a screw in it in the future....yeh....five minutes later out with a screwdriver and screws she came....

    by now cheapie was getting a bit peed off...time to go...other jobs to do....and the nice lady next door piped up would you like another cup of tea? yeh sure....can you make it more rounded...? yeh sure...

    and then hubby came home to watch too.....and then nice lady said have you time to do the windows?...NO...cheapie said sorry but she would have to book it in as he had other jobs to do..

    and whilst up in the eaves screwing the totally rotten piece of wood back...well it will last a couple of months...and he wasn't mentioning it as no doubt husband would find another piece of wood...and expect cheapie to cut it to size....

    so of course the old biddy next door comes out ...oh are you doing my windows today..?

    it's only two weeks since I did em.....so he said oh no he would have to come back....oh she said well don't come next week as I'm away .....well why the feck did she ask me to clean her windows when she's going away...? I give up..
    lucky for cheapie nice ladies hubby had tidied up all the mess ...hes a nice one...

    got my money and did a cheapie runner....never again to offer to do any gardening...

    still I had been there two hours...and had £30 so not that bad seeing as I had totally underestimated the job as usual...

    now shot off to do the other side of a house he had done the front of yesterday....he was a bit early

    ...so he looked at a house he had to do whom he thinks they are away....but the woman scares cheapie...and he can't get his money...and he knew the husband is still there...yeah leave that for tomorrow ...can't cope...

    so off he went for five minutes as all the sawing had tired him out...yes he couldn't recline his seat because two barrels are wedged in the footwell...well he had to time it right as he knew this lady would leave shortly for school and he just wanted his cuppa and money...well he got his cuppa....she had no money...so he finished that and shot off to the next one....

    she's a lovely old biddy and she had already told him she would be out....so he liked that ..it was only a fiver but no ladders needed..:rolleyes:

    as long as cheapie could sneak through the garage...she locks the gates...the garage was indeed open but the side door wasn't....

    yeh doesn't stop cheapie when he's in a rush....straight through the window...and onto good old wheelie bin but he had better be fast as she may not like that idea...

    he is fast with his 18 inch and his henry ford method....as in...soapy soapy soap em ...blade em...detail em....in large groups...and he's done and back through the garage window ...she's none the wiser....still got the leaded fronts...now cheapie wanted to wfp em but he was in a rush so he bladed em and started doing it the old fashioned way...oh feck that he ran back to the car...that's hard work...

    not much water in his back pack but he was in a rush....yeah it ran out with a bay to go..they are all under a stupid sticky tree so they are really bad...so off back for more water...and nice fit lady from next door who always chats for ever came out to walk the dog..that was it...cheapies mad dash was well over...but she was very nice to look at...and cheapie liked a fit nice flirty lady ...:h:

    an awful long time later he actually got back to finish the bay and of course the other leads were all nice shiny and dry now...yep that long....just banged off the bay and guess who comes up the drive...well at least he would get his fiver....but ..yep she wanted a nice chat too....oh I give up...

    and still money waiting under a bin around the corner...but that one should have been done early...they could come back and catch cheapie in the act so to speak....and he doesn't like people...they chat too much....yeah one of those days...but its friday tomorrow...

    believe me...the day was a lot worse than that..all sorts of things....like speeding down the country lane coming around a corner into a big traffic jam...a cement mixer trying to squeeze past a telecoms crew replacing a telegraph pole ...in the middle of nowhere....speeding along another lane and a tractor is pulling out to overtake a cyclist...so cheapie had to go in the ditch...you really don't know what it's like out here in the supposed to be quiet country...

    in theory..a nice and easy day tomorrow...in theory...think theres only two left to do in my area to finish and a grass cut and cheapies home ...in theory...unless of course...someone wants a chat..[delusional]
     
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  2. TolishAPurd

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    I put this post through a document word counter...1470 words. Sorry cheap, but I think I'll just read this one later.

    [​IMG]
    j/k
     
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  3. cheapncheerful

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    yeh its to send tuffers to sleep bless him:rofl:
     
  4. Tuffers

    Tuffers Hero
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    Night night Dave :D
     
  5. daveyboy

    daveyboy Legend
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    Bloody hell i was clean shaven when i started reading that..where's me razor i need to get rid of this beard
     
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  6. Jake

    Jake Grand Master
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    Crikey cheap that was a marathon!

    Feel your pain, that hedge and the extra job must of driven you up the wall!!

    Prove higher, you deserve it! Don't be scared of the higher prices!!!!
     
  7. cheapncheerful

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    odd jobs like that are rare but if they come my way in future the price will defo be higher..

    gonna bookmark this page just to remind me of the hassle in the future..:D

    now do you think mrs j will remember to mither me about painting her fence panels...

    told her £!5 per hour she supplies everything but really cant be ar sed...mind you...if she keeps topping up the wine glass...

    ahh thats mondays problem..:D
     
  8. Ant

    Ant Well-Known Member
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    That was epic cheap! When's the sequel out? ;)
     
  9. daveyboy

    daveyboy Legend
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    Don't encourage him Ant
     
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  10. cheapncheerful

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    now maybe could do a day a month...

    but it certainly wont be a sat or sun....

    as cheapie dont move off his harris...:D
     
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