Anyone working in between Xmas and New year?

[dazmond]

I live in an area with lots of crack and heroin addicts as well as drinking alcoholics but it has zero affect on my life because I'm not part of their lifestyle. Most of the last 20 years I've been free of drink and drugs so they don't bother me.

The problem with your brother and his girlfriend is your dad is funding their drink/drugs habits and even paying her rent!

Why do you think this is?

Why can't he just cut ties with them both and let them fend for themselves and reach rock bottom?This is the only way forward.

Only offer help in financial terms if they get help and get into recovery NOT BEFORE! They will have to show they are serious about getting clean and sober and moving forward to stand on their own 2 feet and be responsible adults who pay their way in life.

Failing that I would cut them out of my life totally unless they get into recovery. Tough love is the only way!

 

[Chris34]

Why do you think this is?

Why can't he just cut ties with them both and let them fend for themselves and reach rock bottom?This is the only way forward.

My thoughts are that there is more to it. The only explanation that would make any sense for his actions is that she's got something on him and is blackmailing him. I said this to my mum last year at the time of his stroke, she confronted him about it and said is there anything going on between you and her, he laughed it off and said nothing is going on.

I still believe there must be more to it but we will never know unless something is found out in the future. It would make more sense though. I could understand his actions if he was being put under pressure via blackmail.

I did bring it up with my little brother (he's absolutely fine no issues with him) and he said he thought exactly the same but said if it was blackmail he thinks my dad would have just come clean by now, because he thinks there is only so much blackmail a person would take before it becomes easier to just tell the truth...

Who knows though, if it's something really really bad then the truth could destroy his life completely...

That's what I think anyway. It would make a lot more sense for his actions compared to what we are being led to believe at the moment.

 

[Chris34]

Tough love is the only way!

I've told them that. It's not actually tough love though, if they actually loved them they wouldn't give them money. Giving money is the easy way to just make the problem go away for a day or so. True love is doing the right thing.

They know everything they should be doing...

 

[dazmond]

Do you think your brothers girlfriend has offered sexual favours to your dad and he's accepted? And now shes threatening to tell your mum?
This is a very common form of blackmail....