Extremecleansussex
Well-known member
- Messages
- 253
- Location
- Sussex
Premature ejaculator seeks young attractive woman for fling. . . Must have large breasts, big lips, a tight ****, and. . . aaaaaw, fucksake, never mind. . .
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Extremecleansussex
Well-known member
- Messages
- 253
- Location
- Sussex
I was hoovering my flat today and did what every single man on this planet has done at least once when hoovering. I looked at the hoover, and then looked at my ****, then I looked at my hoover and then my ****, and thought to myself,
'
hang on a ******* second, I've got a ****, why the **** am I doing the hoovering?!'
'
hang on a ******* second, I've got a ****, why the **** am I doing the hoovering?!'
Extremecleansussex
Well-known member
- Messages
- 253
- Location
- Sussex
A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.
Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the
motorway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything,
but..
"Something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact
is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find
it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got £9000 in insurance
compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new
willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But
the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's £1000 an inch."
The man perks up at this. "So," the doctor says, "It's for you to
decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better
discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and
you decide to go for nine inches, she might be a bit put out. But if
you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to purchase in a
five incher this time, she might be disappointed So it's important
that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.."
The man agrees to talk with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day. "So," says the doctor, "have you
spoken with your wife?"
"I have," says the man.
"And what is the decision?" asks the doctor.
"We're having granite worktops."
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.
Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the
motorway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything,
but..
"Something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact
is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find
it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got £9000 in insurance
compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new
willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But
the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's £1000 an inch."
The man perks up at this. "So," the doctor says, "It's for you to
decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better
discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and
you decide to go for nine inches, she might be a bit put out. But if
you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to purchase in a
five incher this time, she might be disappointed So it's important
that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.."
The man agrees to talk with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day. "So," says the doctor, "have you
spoken with your wife?"
"I have," says the man.
"And what is the decision?" asks the doctor.
"We're having granite worktops."
how do you eat yours ?
http://sphotos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/58024_448977191846910_1468195084_n.jpg
http://sphotos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/58024_448977191846910_1468195084_n.jpg
YUK! /emoticons/ohmy.png/emoticons/ohmy.png/emoticons/ohmy.png .....
Not like you Mark......that's for sure /emoticons/tongue.png .
I've suddenly gone-off Cream Eggs....
So, if you and your mate would like a few extra eggs for Easter...your welcome to them :lol: :lol: :lol: .
Gmeister
Well-known member
- Messages
- 2,314
There are so many scams on the internet these days, but for £19.95 I can show you how to avoid them.
so my mate says to me "have you ever caught any of your customers in compromising postions when you clean their windows?",
and i reply "yes, there's this one blonde lady who every time i clean i see her playing with herself on the bed !".
My mate says "when do you clean her windows?"
and i reply "every night at 11.00 o'clock !!!"
and i reply "yes, there's this one blonde lady who every time i clean i see her playing with herself on the bed !".
My mate says "when do you clean her windows?"
and i reply "every night at 11.00 o'clock !!!"
super mck
Well-known member
- Messages
- 178
- Location
- Chentenham
BILL Roache,Stuart hall,kevin webster,rolf harris,freddie star,jim davidson.....feck me the prison panto,s gonna be good this year!
