Anyone working in between Xmas and New year?

[dazmond]

I live in an area with lots of crack and heroin addicts as well as drinking alcoholics but it has zero affect on my life because I'm not part of their lifestyle. Most of the last 20 years I've been free of drink and drugs so they don't bother me.

The problem with your brother and his girlfriend is your dad is funding their drink/drugs habits and even paying her rent!

Why do you think this is?

Why can't he just cut ties with them both and let them fend for themselves and reach rock bottom?This is the only way forward.

Only offer help in financial terms if they get help and get into recovery NOT BEFORE! They will have to show they are serious about getting clean and sober and moving forward to stand on their own 2 feet and be responsible adults who pay their way in life.

Failing that I would cut them out of my life totally unless they get into recovery. Tough love is the only way!

 

[Chris34]

Why do you think this is?

Why can't he just cut ties with them both and let them fend for themselves and reach rock bottom?This is the only way forward.

My thoughts are that there is more to it. The only explanation that would make any sense for his actions is that she's got something on him and is blackmailing him. I said this to my mum last year at the time of his stroke, she confronted him about it and said is there anything going on between you and her, he laughed it off and said nothing is going on.

I still believe there must be more to it but we will never know unless something is found out in the future. It would make more sense though. I could understand his actions if he was being put under pressure via blackmail.

I did bring it up with my little brother (he's absolutely fine no issues with him) and he said he thought exactly the same but said if it was blackmail he thinks my dad would have just come clean by now, because he thinks there is only so much blackmail a person would take before it becomes easier to just tell the truth...

Who knows though, if it's something really really bad then the truth could destroy his life completely...

That's what I think anyway. It would make a lot more sense for his actions compared to what we are being led to believe at the moment.

 

[Chris34]

Tough love is the only way!

I've told them that. It's not actually tough love though, if they actually loved them they wouldn't give them money. Giving money is the easy way to just make the problem go away for a day or so. True love is doing the right thing.

They know everything they should be doing...

 

[dazmond]

Do you think your brothers girlfriend has offered sexual favours to your dad and he's accepted? And now shes threatening to tell your mum?
This is a very common form of blackmail....

 

[Chris34]

Do you think your brothers girlfriend has offered sexual favours to your dad and he's accepted? And now shes threatening to tell your mum?
This is a very common form of blackmail....

That's a possibility but I think it might be more along the lines of revealing something that may have happened in the past before she came on the scene.

He's spent a lot of time with her over the years, a few years ago he would be with her until the early hours of the morning and my mum would be sat at home wondering what he was doing until that time. My dad said he was just talking and making sure she was ok, but he was always very cagey about it and wouldn't let my mum know where he was or reveal any details.

My brother would just go out drinking whilst my dad would be with his girlfriend. My brother is a total walk over, if I was in his shoes there's no chance on earth I'd allow that to happen but my brother just moves aside all the time with everything.

That's what I mean, a lot's happened over the years, anything is possible...

I'm just trying to move on with my own life though. I've learned you can't control others behaviour and as hard as it is I've got to somehow accept it and get on with my own life. I'll continue to try and help where I can and I will be there for my mum but to totally stop what's happening will / is ruining my own life because it's all I can think about, it's not doing me any good. I've got a good hobby and a good business so I should be happy but it's like a cloud is over me all the time so I can't properly laugh and relax. So I'm just going to try and focus on my own life more and living it.

 

[tench0771]

i finished yesterday but i need to do to jobs on friday one takes 15 minits other takes just under 2 hours ill start them 630am get them done bill in and get home asap luckly there right next to each other and 10 minits away from my house just hope it wont be blowing east wind to hard

 

[steve garwood]

Good luck to all those working over Christmas

 

[Part Timer]

Is that you and the Mrs with the Christmas hats on

 

[steve garwood]

Is that you and the Mrs with the Christmas hats on

Just trying on my new Santa outfit now